


but the monsters turned out to be just trees

by kayyyy31



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, F/M, jake is sad and amy comforts him, missing moment from 511, rosa and jake are really cute friends, screw roger peralta honestly, something said at dinner really upsets jake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 11:58:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13007304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayyyy31/pseuds/kayyyy31
Summary: As soon as the accusation that Rosa was Jake’s mistress was out in the open, Jake froze.  He felt like the world’s worst friend because he could barely acknowledge that Rosa’s entire world was collapsing around her.  All that he knew was that Mr. Diaz, who he now knew never liked him, assumed that he was the kind of person who would cheat on his fiancé.





	but the monsters turned out to be just trees

As soon as the accusation that Rosa was Jake’s mistress was out in the open, Jake froze. He felt like the world’s worst friend because he could barely acknowledge that Rosa’s entire world was collapsing around her. All that he knew was that Mr. Diaz, who he now knew never liked him, assumed that he was the kind of person who would cheat on his fiancé. 

In the blink of an eye, his entire childhood flashed before his eyes. All those late nights his mom put him to bed by herself, the circles cushioning her eyes becoming darker and darker with every passing day. The one time she fell asleep in the middle of reading Jake his bedtime story, exhausted from working full time and taking care of Jake all by herself while Roger was out doing who knows what with whatever girl he was currently seeing. 

The sound of a chair pushing away from the table shakes him out of his revere and back to the high tension moment he was currently immersed in. He barely registered Rosa storming out of the restaurant while he was still sitting awkwardly at the table with Rosa’s parents. He didn’t have time to even call a belated “thanks for dinner” as he ran after one of his oldest friends, feeling like the world’s biggest ass for zoning out during her impassioned speech and not following on her heels as she stormed out.

He’s still hurting, and as much as he doesn’t want it to affect him, the words said at dinner tonight will probably scar him for a long time. But Jake knows he doesn’t have time to worry about himself right now. His number one priority is finding Rosa and making sure she doesn’t end up back in prison by the end of the night for killing someone.

It takes him more time than he’s proud of to find her, and by the time he does, he’s huffing and puffing more than an New York police officer ever should.

“Rosa, I’m so sorry that they said all that. I should’ve believed you when you said that they would take it badly. I’m so sorry you were subjected to that.”

“Its fine, I guess on some level I was prepared for that. I just want to be alone right now, okay?”

“Let me at least give you a ride home, it’s the least I can do. Also, I’m high key terrified of what you might do if I let you walk around by yourself right now. I mean, we just got out of prison, let’s not get sent back there tonight, Diaz.”

“Thanks for looking out Jake, but really, I just want to be alone and get some fresh air. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“If you’re sure. Promise you’ll call if you need anything tonight?”  
“Good night, Jake,” Rosa says in that voice that makes it extra clear she’s done with the conversation.

While Jake acknowledges that Rosa needs to process the night’s events in her own way, and allowing her to process the night is way more than Jake getting caught up by a one liner dropped by someone who is essentially a stranger. But as he’s sitting in the car, surrounded by silence and Taylor Swift, he can’t stop that feeling bubble up in his stomach again. 

He’s tried so hard to not be that guy. As an adult, Jake has analyzed every single thing his father ever did, during and after Roger’s marriage to his mom, and done the exact opposite. He’s tried so damn hard to be a good partner for Amy, to be the partner his fiancé deserves, and for Mr. Diaz to assume that Jake is capable of being that man cuts deeper than it has a right to.

It also doesn’t help that the traffic on the backroads of Brooklyn are extraordinarily bad for a Wednesday night. All he wants to do is make the silence stop, curl up with Amy and be happy. He doesn’t think that’s too much to ask.

By the time he finally gets home, he’s worked himself up to the point of hyperventilation, and forces himself to wait outside their apartment until he can calm himself down. The last thing he wants to do is let Amy know about what happened tonight. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Amy heard about what the elder Diaz’ said and decided she didn’t want to become involved with someone that would inevitably cheat on her. That’s where his head was; he was so sure it was fate that he would at some point become unfaithful to her. It’s in his DNA.

Eventually, he is able to calm himself down enough where he can pass off any discomfort as fatigue and go straight to bed, hopefully dragging Amy along with him.

Of course, that’s not what happens.

He shouldn’t have been so naive to believe that his brilliant fiancé, an amazing human/genius, wouldn’t immediately notice that something was up with him. Jake couldn’t believe he ever thought he could get away with having something so huge on his mind without her figuring out. 

“Babe, what’s wrong? Did something happen at dinner?” her voice was slowly reaching to a maximum level of panic and he couldn’t help but snicker at how adorable she was when she worried about him.

“Dinner was a blast,” he jeered sarcastically, “Rosa got super nervous and let her parents believe that we were dating, and then when you called, her dad saw my background picture. So naturally, they assumed Rosa was my mistress, and the sick thing is that they were relieved. They would rather her be some guy’s mistress instead of being bi. How crazy is that?” He tries to laugh, but all that comes out is a strangled cry.

He barely has time to take a deep breath before her arms are wrapped around her and he’s being suffocated by her perfume. He tries to control himself, to not immediately fold onto her and handle his emotions like a big boy, but all it takes is to feel Amy’s chest rise and fall as she steadies her breathing for him to cave.

“Oh, babe. I’m so sorry. You know you’re not like your dad, right? You’re a million times the man he is and I have no doubts you’re going to be an incredible husband.”

“Ames, he barely knows me and assumes that I would cheat on my finacé. How did he know? How could he know that my dad had mistress after mistress and that I’m destined to be just like him. And how could he be so cavalier about it? As if that’s not one of the worst things I could do to you.”

“You’re not like him Jake. He didn’t know that your dad is an actual scumbag, and he definitely doesn’t know that you’re not going to be anything like him. Jake, I wouldn’t be marrying you if I thought you were going to be like him. You know that right? You know I trust 100% that you’re not going to be anything like him.”

“You don’t know that. I could be just like him. I mean, he and my mom were happy for a while. Now look at what happened. Look how I grew up. I didn’t have a man telling me how to be a good person. I don’t want to put you through that. You deserve so much better than me, Ames. I can’t believe you haven’t seen that yet.”

“Stop,” she cuts him off harshly, “I don’t care about what you think I deserve. I know what I want, and I know its hard for you to believe but I want you. If I thought I ‘deserved better’, I would have never said yes to you. How can I get that through your head, huh? I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I know you well enough to know that’s what you want to. Get out of your own head, pineapples.”

He’s not entirely sure when they ended up sitting on their bed with his head in her neck, but upon noticing their position, Jake doesn’t think he’s ever felt safer. He burrows himself closer into her; the rhythmic strokes she’s making on his back to calm him down, just as she knew it would. 

“What did I do to deserve you, Ames?” he whispers into the still night, so low she almost misses it.  
“I ask myself that every single day. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t made me realize that we were worth fighting for.”

“Luckily we’ll never have to find out,” he smiles. 

It’s the last thing either of them say for the rest of the night.

They silently go about their nightly routine, Amy never venturing more than an arm’s length away from Jake. There are several moments that night when she can’t help but reach out and rub his arm, his cheek, or anything else she can get her hands on. After everything he’s heard, every self deprecating thought he’s told himself in the last few hours, she feels like it’s her responsibility to get him out of his own head. She knows what he’s like when he overthinks, how exhausting it is for him.

It breaks her heart to see how deep the abandonment issues he inherited from his dad runs. As much as Amy knows there’s no off switch for his feelings, her heart can’t help but break when they come to the surface. There’s a very short list of things that upset her more than when her finacé fails to see just how incredible he is. She wishes there were a way she could make him see how much he means to everyone in his life, but logically she knows this is a part of him. And she loves every single part of him, and promises to love him for the rest of their lives.

As they finally crawl into bed that night, it’s an unspoken assumption that Jake’s going to be the little spoon. As he burrows deeper into the sheets and finally lets the day fade away, Amy’s steady breathing against his back lets him fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> just a missing moment after that awful dinner w rosa and her parents  
> follow me on tumblr at okayokaycoolcoolcool !


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